


Boy Next Door

by darefanny



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, First Time, Fluff, M/M, MakoHaru in Tokyo, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:14:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24116350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darefanny/pseuds/darefanny
Summary: They both felt the same, Haru was sure of it - Makoto wasn’t exactly the most subtle person - even though neither of them had ever outright said it.If only they knew how to stop spending nights on each other’s sofas and take the step forward.
Relationships: Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	1. Losers

**Author's Note:**

> If you're not already sick of slow burn Makoharu in Tokyo, here's another one, in the plague year of our Lord 2020. I've not nearly finished this yet, so tread carefully. Chapters will probably be longer after this. I'm not a native in English, please don't hesitate to correct my language. 
> 
> The fic begins a week before Makoto's 21st birthday, so I've written quite a bit of non-canon stuff for the side characters that would have moved on from high school at this point. I've also somewhat roughened the speech of the characters from the canon, since they are not cute, innocent highschoolers anymore. Hopefully this won't make them feel out of character. 
> 
> \- fanny I [](https://grievingwidowsmith.tumblr.com/<@tumblr</a)

He was not falling asleep, he was not.

”... tomorrow morning is looking sunny, but there’s strong wind coming from the west coast that’s going to make a chilly autumn day of it for us. By nightfall the sky will be turning cloudy and the day after tomorrow there's going to be a high chance of rain in the Tokyo area all day...”

”Makoto.”

He flashed his eyes open. He was not sleeping, he was just resting his eyes. Haru was looking at him from the other end of the sofa.

”Sorry. I guess the dinner made me a bit sleepy”, he replied, smiling apologetically. ”Thank you for the dinner again, Haru.”

When Makoto had arrived at Haru's place for their dinner plans the clock had been almost seven. Even after having an undeniably long day, consisting of four lectures amongst other things, Makoto was feeling a bit bad for being so worn and such dull company when it was still so early on a Friday night.

Haruka sighed boredly as he surfed the channels. How come there were so many of them yet none of them was ever showing anything interesting?

”If you're tired you should go to sleep.”

Makoto was not sure if Haru was telling him to go home or just offering a place on the sofa, but before he managed to ask there was a sudden sharp pain in the back of his head that made him grimace. The headache had been making its way all day, but Makoto had wished that some good food and a moment of peace would make the tenseness disappear. Seemed like he was in no such luck. 

“Just take some painkillers already”, Haru grunted, noticing Makoto’s painful expression. He had first told Makoto to do that an hour earlier. 

“Yeah, okay”, Makoto complied, which immediately got Haru to stand up and head to the kitchen. Soon he placed a glass of water with a pill on the table in front of Makoto. The brown-haired man thanked, took the medicine, and then started blabbering about being ‘sorry to be so tired’ and ‘probably needing to head home’ but quieted when he felt hands on his shoulders. 

A year earlier, Makoto would have very possibly panicked like a teenager at having the only person he had ever been romantically invested in suddenly touch him so intimately. But now he just felt a quick hot and cold rush wash over him, before settling back to an almost-calmness. He forced himself to relax into the touch of Haru’s massaging fingers and closed his eyes. 

“I have training in the morning anyway so I need to get rest too”, Haru said after a moment of silence. _It’s not like we were going out, like either of us would’ve even wanted to_ , he thought, but kept it to himself. “You can stay if you want”, he added instead, trying not to sound as annoyed as he felt himself way too often these days. 

He continued to bite his tongue as he listened through Makoto’s excessive gratitude while pulling the sheets out of the closet. 

“Don’t bother-“, Makoto started as Haru shoved the sheets, 

“this is fine-“ 

a pillow, 

“thank you-“

a blanket,

“it’s fine-“

and another pillow,

“thank you-“

into his lap. After that Haru left for the bathroom, leaving Makoto to make his bed on the sofa. He brushed his teeth furiously and huffed while passing the living room. Makoto wished him goodnight in a soft, mildly confused voice and Haru instantly regretted not answering when he shut the bedroom door behind his back. _He doesn’t realise why you’re pissy._

He walked to his bed, sat down, stood again and walked back to the door. 

“Goodnight.” 

***

Haru left the pool early despite how his coach’s concerned voice made his conscience nag at him. It wasn’t that Haru didn’t want to swim, it was still everything he would ever do if he could, but unfortunately the pool wasn't his personal bathtub. Training wouldn’t be any use to him this morning, and he’d just be on the way. 

In the empty locker room, Haru took the chance to have a proper look at himself in the mirror. He wasn’t one to be often found doing that, but lately even he could not have been a little curious. The final millimetres of his height had finally settled, and the last remains of any boyish softness was leaving his features. He still had the slim body of a swimmer but there were now new angles in it, more presence somehow. To put it simply, he had started to look like an adult.

It wasn’t like Haru thought much of it, his body itself. An another thing was what it meant. The whole life was still ahead of him, sure, but it wasn’t somewhere there in the unforeseeable future anymore. It was here and he had noticed questions arising with it as the days continued to pass. Most of them concerned Makoto. 

Haru was not an idiot, even though he liked to play one sometimes to avoid things. He might’ve gotten away from his teammates nosy questions about girlfriends by talking about mermaids, but he knew it was more or less expected of people of his age to be dating. Most of the people of his age had sex or, well, at least desperately pursued to have. Most of the people of is age had at least kissed. 

Well, not Haru. Not once. Some girls from the uni had asked him out, but he wasn’t interested. He was waiting. 

Makoto. He had always been there as long as Haru could recall. He still remembered the shock when he was seven and his mother had offhandedly noted to him that one day he would meet a girl and marry her. That’s what Haru had thought for a while then, too. But on the day he had sat to the backseat of the Tachibana family’s car, ready to head to Tokyo with a trunk full of his and Makoto’s stuff, he had at the latest realised his mother had been wrong. 

It was probably a little twisted, him and Makoto, in some way. How often did childhood friends develop a mutual love interest that would actually remain into adulthood even when they were of different sexes? You would’ve thought that they’d be sick of each other by now and dying to form new, exciting relationships. Haru didn’t believe in fate, but something must have had gone right when the Nanase and Tachibana families had ended up living next to each other. Because somehow, he and Makoto were not sick at all, and somehow, they never saw anyone else with quite the same eyes as they saw each other. They both felt the same, Haru was sure of it - Makoto wasn’t exactly the most subtle person - even though neither of them had ever outright said it. 

If only they knew how to stop spending nights on each other’s sofas and take the step forward.

***

Surprised to find Makoto still asleep when he got home, Haru let his backpack fall silently to the floor and sat carefully on the edge of the coffee table. He watched Makoto, taking note of the way his hair had fallen in front of his eyes and how his lips were just a tiny bit apart. For a man who was way too tall to sleep on Haru’s sofa with his legs straight he looked unbelievably graceful.

Another thing Haru’s mother had once said was that ‘that Tachibana boy’ was ‘such an angel’, and there Haru had had to acknowledge her of being right. That was something he himself had only come to fully realise in the last couple of years. Life in Iwatobi had been so mellow that it had sometimes dulled Haru’s senses from feeling Makoto’s radiance, but soon after moving to Tokyo he had been struck by the realisation of how unique his childhood friend truly was. There were millions of people here, but he was yet to find someone like Makoto. And Haru was not the only one who noticed him. There was hardly a time when he got out with Makoto and didn’t catch a girl trying to meet his friend’s oblivious, kind eyes. 

Unlike a few times during his teens, Haru didn’t really get jealous much anymore. Instead he felt proud, proud that Makoto was _his_ best friend, happy that only _he_ had been this close to Makoto for so long. No one could ever take the place they both had in each other’s lives. Haru had noticed that many didn’t really even have close friends, let alone someone who knew them like this. Taking his personality into account nor would he probably if it wasn’t for the boy next door. 

But Haru was just a person and people got greedy. As grateful as he was of their friendship, he wanted more. He had expected that things would happen in their own time, but the time had come and gone. Nothing was happening and Haru was growing more and more confused by the day. 

Sometimes he got paranoid and wondered if Makoto saw him like that after all. But how could he be imagining it, when it was obvious Makoto’s blush had started to get darker and darker each time he came to pull Haru from the tub. When he had heard all possible excuses getting given to the girls that came to ask Makoto for his number. The loud swallows Makoto couldn’t hide on the rare occasion a male couple passed them by on the street. 

Most likely it was just because neither of them knew how to go about it, and once Haru had realised that he had been trying the best he could. Sometimes he’d take Makoto’s hand when they were sitting in the metro going somewhere. He made dinners of all sorts for Makoto, once even gathered up the courage to light a candle to the table. He actually answered to goodnight texts. 

But Haru had also been honest with himself and admitted that he was completely lost with these sorts of things. He had no interest in what was the conventional way of things and when he tried to do what the online articles told him to do it only came out forced. Makoto was the more socially talented of them and Haru would’ve appreciated if he could’ve at least met him halfway, but no. The man seemed to be nothing but endless smiles, nervous chuckles and a newfound sense of personal space nowadays. It was frustrating, like soap slipping through Haru’s helpless fingers. 

Riled up in his thoughts Haru jumped when Makoto suddenly moved but relaxed when he saw him just change position in his sleep. His hand dropped from under his head to the floor, revealing his peaceful face better and a word spontaneously sprang into Haru’s mind. _Lover_. 

The thought made Haru’s skin tingle, and it wasn’t exactly a comfortable feeling. Since middle school he had spent hours and hours wondering what it would be like, to kiss Makoto, to touch him in places he hadn’t touched. He had thought about it so much, yet he still had no clue. He was anxious to learn about everything and the uncertainty of it all was making him crazy.

Sensing a wave of anxiety rising Haru stood up before it would get to him. He drowned himself into cooking until the smell of food finally woke Makoto, who then appeared at the tiny kitchen’s doorway. 

“Hey.”

“I’m making lunch. You want some?” Haru didn’t take his eyes off the pan.

“Oh, uh, thank you but I need to run to the library. It closes early today, and I have to get some books for a psychology class.” 

Haru pretended to be reading the labels on the spices placed above the stove to hide his disappointment. 

“I can’t believe I slept this late. Guess it’s been a pretty busy week”, Makoto rambled. 

_Don’t do it_ , Haru thought. _Don’t thank me for another self-evident thing when we should be doing so much more._

“Thank you for letting me stay, Haru.”

The ladle in his hand knocked loudly against the pan before Haru could stop his nerves. There was a moment of silence. 

“Haru, is something wrong?” 

“Not really.”

Makoto let out his trademark patient sigh. “You seem mad at me.” 

Haru just couldn’t stand the sigh right now. Makoto had no right to play the patient one. 

“Okay, you know what? I _am_ mad at you and if you’re in a hurry, you should go” he spat at him and turned back to his cooking. He heard Makoto open his mouth, not say anything in the end and soon vanish from the door. There were sounds of shoes being put on and a coat’s zipper being pulled up. 

“We can talk whenever you want.” Makoto’s voice didn’t have any anger in it, just a nearly hidden, yet for Haru, recognizable, sad undertone. The outdoor opened and then closed in sync with Haru’s eyes. 

***

It had been almost closing time when Makoto had arrived at the university library. He had missed an earlier train by a minute and had had to wait fifteen minutes for another. The librarian had given him a look when he had still been searching for one of his stupid books when the clock actually had hit closing time, but she hadn’t driven him out. Four minutes over Makoto had hurried to the counter pouring out apologies and hit his toe against the doorstep on his way out. 

He blamed the books for everything that wasn’t right in his life. If he wouldn’t have had to leave for them, he could’ve stayed at Haru’s place for lunch and maybe Haru wouldn’t have gotten mad at him. He could’ve had a full belly and a relaxed Saturday instead of standing here in the middle of Tokyo traffic with his teeth unbrushed and shirt buttoned wrong. 

To be completely fair to the books, though, Makoto acknowledged that Haru had been irritated already last night. That much he could’ve understood all right. As for the reason why, Makoto wasn’t sure, which was a little uncomfortable place for him to be. All the jokes about his and Haru’s telepathic connection held some truth in them, in the sense that most of the time they did have quite a good grasp of each other’s thoughts and feelings. 

Even though Makoto knew they’d talk it over soon enough, he felt disappointed. Lately his head had been in the clouds with Haru. Slowly but surely, he had been realising that he might not have been alone with his feelings. After repressing them as too intense for years it was intoxicating to think there was a chance that they weren’t a bad thing after all. Makoto hadn’t really let himself think of everything he wanted before; he hardly still did. Regarding that, he had pretty much given up on such things as sex since he didn’t seem to be able to think of himself with anyone else either. Now all of that had been changing, however, and Makoto had tried his best not to go and get his hopes too up too quickly. He didn’t want to end up ruining it. 

But he had done something wrong and now Haru was annoyed. He wanted nothing more than to find out what it was, but it was probably best to let Haru be for now.

***

Haru pretended he wasn’t waiting for a call or a message the whole day, but when there wasn’t even a goodnight text, he found himself rolling in bed still at three a.m. He had gone through multiple imaginary discussions in his head, written a couple messages without pressing ‘send’, and was just considering if he should go for a run to exhaust his body when his phone rang. Thinking it would be Makoto Haru reached for it tensely but was surprised to see Rin’s name in the screen. 

“Haru, what’s up?” Rin sounded like he was calling in the middle of something. The background noise annoyed the hell out of Haru immediately. He hated talking on the phone in the first place, and Rin was aware of it - thankfully he didn’t bother him with calls too often. 

“Nothing much. It’s four in the morning.” 

“Oh shit, yeah. Sorry.” Rin didn’t really sound like he was too worried. “I mean I was thinking it was late, I meant to call you all day but then we went to have dinner with some teammates and somehow we ended up at this night club… the sun is actually rising here already.” He sneered like he had only just realised the time himself. “Also, sorry I’m a bit drunk.” 

Haru would’ve said something if he could’ve decided what to think. He had never received a drunk call before and he was somewhat amused among multiple other things. 

“Are you there, Haru?”

“Yeah.”

“So I was thinking, I’ve got a long weekend next week and I thought I could take a last minute deal and come there –“

“What’s the noise?” 

“What – oh, yeah, I’m in the metro, some people are singing Bohemian Rhapsody,” – Rin hiccuped – “- early Christmas party season, I guess. Anyway, I mean, it’s Makoto’s birthday this Sunday, isn’t it? Like, not that I’ve been there for you guys’ birthdays per se, but I really miss you losers. We should have some fun together.” 

In addition to the absurdity of being so lovingly called a loser, overwhelmed by also the reminder of Makoto’s birthday Haru stood up from the bed, trying to collect his thoughts. Perhaps luckily, it seemed that his opinion wasn’t really even asked for, though. 

“Let’s have a surprise party!” Rin got excited. “Or did you have something planned already?” 

“Not really”, Haru said. They would’ve probably just had dinner somewhere, maybe asked Rei to join them since he lived in Tokyo too nowadays. 

“So? What do you say, a party?” Rin’s voice was impatient.

“Yeah”, Haru agreed after thinking about it for a while. “It’s a good idea.” 

“Awesome!” A mildly awkward pause before Rin continued: “Well, I’m almost home. Ah, finally into bed. Let’s Skype or text or something more about details early this week?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry again for waking you up.”

“Yeah”, Haru answered, not bothering to correct that he’d actually been awake. “Goodnight, Rin. Try to get home safely.”

“Sure”, Rin laughed. “Bye, Haru.”

Haru collapsed back on the bed, feeling like Rin had just added to his problems, but before he realised he was fast asleep.


	2. Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shorter chapter, sorry! Well, at least the rating goes up. ;)

Makoto hadn’t come up with a convincing theory about Haru’s behaviour by the next morning, so he decided to test the waters. He was going to see a science exhibition with Rei in the afternoon and sent Haru a text, asking if he would join them. That way, Makoto thought, he wouldn’t be pressuring Haru into a conversation but got to express his wish to spend time with him, regardless of what had happened yesterday. 

But Haru never answered, and after calling a couple of times and lingering at home until the last possible minute Makoto had to give up and get going so he wouldn’t make Rei wait instead. He tried to convince himself that there would be an explanation other than Haru simply not wanting to answer, but his chest felt heavy. 

Seeing Rei in front of the coffee place they had agreed to meet at still made Makoto’s eyes light up. The man had become quite a sight. In his senior year he had grown to be almost 6 feet tall, and even though he still easily fell behind Makoto’s height, he carried himself so well that he hardly looked shorter. Once independency and Tokyo’s endless stores had given Rei the courage and means to dress as well as he was capable, he had put his inner sense of beauty into use without doubt. With his perfectly fitted and coloured wool jackets, sweaters, dress shirts and chinos he was like a walking men’s conservative fashion ad. All this grace combined with his medical studies was sure to make him quite a catch in anybody’s eyes, though Makoto didn’t have any idea of what was going on in that area of Rei’s life. 

Absorbed by his phone, his handsome friend jumped a little as Makoto greeted him cheerily. 

“Ah! Sorry, I didn’t notice you. I was reading this article… Haruka didn’t come?” 

Makoto hadn’t actually told Rei he had asked Haru so he must’ve had just assumed he’d come too. Usually they did meet with all three of them. 

“Uh, no”, Makoto smiled. He first meant to just leave it there but then continued after all. “I actually couldn’t get hold of him.” 

Rei glanced at him while stepping into the coffee shop. “I’m going to take a coffee to go, do you want something?” 

“Um, yeah, coffee, sure”, Makoto mumbled, confused by the rapid change of subject, but before he could take another breath Rei was back at it. 

“Are you sure everything is alright with him?” he asked in-between ordering two takeaway lattes. 

“Haru? Yeah, I think so – I’ll pay since you’re taking us to the exhibition”, Makoto caught up, already cramming his card into the machine before Rei had time to refuse. “To be honest we had a little fight. Well, no, not a fight, but I’m guessing Haru wants some time by himself.” 

Rei furrowed his brows, looking concerned, but didn’t say anything before they exited the shop. 

“I’m sure you two of all people will sort it out no matter what it was”, he said, then silently pointed at the building the exhibition was held at, for guidance. 

“No, it was really nothing, I didn’t mean to even bring it up really…” Makoto hurried, hoping they could talk about something else. 

“I believe you, Makoto. Just remember that I’m your friend”, Rei said lightly and then gave a laugh. “It’s really weird not to have Nagisa around, isn’t it?” 

It absolutely was. As the most easy-going Nagisa had always been sort of an emotional compass who balanced them. His presence made all of their personalities somehow softer and easier, rounded all of their personal edges. But Nagisa was thousands of miles away and wouldn’t be coming home yet for a while. After graduation Nagisa had chosen not to listen to his parents who had insisted he’d apply to college. Instead, he had worked as cashier in every possible fast-food restaurant, taken all the cleaning gigs available, worked any job he could get for over a year, and saved it all. After that he had surprised not only his parents but his friends as well by packing a backpack and leaving for Europe for ‘at least six months’. Makoto missed him, but more importantly he was very proud of their friend. Nagisa had worked hard and followed his dreams. 

As he and Rei walked through the exhibition, Rei switched topics between updating him on the latest news of Nagisa and explaining the stuff that was presented. For a while Makoto almost forgot Haru under all the wonder both Nagisa’s adventures and Rei’s knowledge made him feel, but at some point, his hand started to fumble for the phone in his pocket. He lost his concentration somewhere in the middle of post-translational modification of proteins. 

“So, the protein folding process...” Rei paused without Makoto even realising. “Makoto?”

“Yeah?” Makoto blinked. 

“Are you worried about Haru?” 

Realising he hadn’t been listening to Rei Makoto winced. “Rei, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to seem uninterested. This stuff is actually really useful for me to know as well…”

“No, no, no - well, I mean yes, but this jargon has no end… Should you try to call him?” Rei suggested. Makoto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. 

“Aah... I suppose I’d like to try giving him a call.” 

He stepped a little aside while Rei slowly continued on the exhibition. 

Despite himself, Makoto wasn’t really prepared to hear anything else than beeping as he pressed the phone to his ear. Haru’s breathless voice startled him. 

”Makoto” he answered. ”I was sleeping. I’m in the train now.”

”Haru? Good to hear your voice, I was getting a little worried...” Makoto exhaled his nervousness out. ”Train?”

"Are you still at the exhibition?”

”Yeah...”

”I’m coming there now. Can you send me the exact address?”

The relief pressured Makoto’s eyes but he quickly swallowed the lump down from his throat. ”Sure!”

After sending Haru a map of the area Makoto returned to Rei who politely pretended not to notice how red his cheeks had become.

“Haru said he was on his way here. He had been sleeping”, Makoto informed, looking a little embarrassed. 

With a warm chuckle Rei suggested they’d head into the cafeteria and wait for Haru there. They had hardly gotten into their seats when they saw Haru already rushing in. The black-haired man went straight to the counter and mumbled something, ending up with a massive cup of coffee. Rei grinned a little. 

”Good morning, Haru.”

"Hi, Rei.”

Haru didn’t appear amused, and he didn’t seem to know whether to look at Rei or Makoto. The latter was watching his friend with such a loving face that it made Rei look away to avoid feeling like a fly in the ceiling. 

Haru hated the situation, the awkwardness and the quilt he felt about how rude he had been. Why would he act like that just because Makoto was shy about things? Like it wasn't worth giving it all the time that was needed. It wouldn’t have mattered if it was anyone else but Makoto, his Makoto, with that unconditional, pure look in his eyes. He didn't want to talk here, so he just slipped his hand under the table and squeezed Makoto’s hand firmly. 

Slowly the three of them eased into a conversation consisting of the exhibition, upcoming swimming events, Nagisa and each of their studies. 

”Actually”, said Rei, ”there’s a small aquarium in the bottom floor here if you’d like to see”, talking mostly to Haru who had told them about an assignment he had been trying to do yesterday. He had thought a lonesome Saturday would be good for catching up with some of his architecture studies. He’d tried to go with something easy, but the prompt for his art course had turned out to be a real headache. Painting an element with only one colour, even when it was his beloved water, was surprisingly hard. 

There was no one in the aquarium except for an old lady whose face indicated strong dislike towards Haru digging up his phone and starting to take photos for reference. Rei followed slowly behind with Makoto, who paused at every tank to whisper in awe. 

"Look Rei, it’s got a tiny tail.”

Haru seemed just as mesmerized with the aquarium, but when Makoto left for the toilet, he didn’t waste time rushing to Rei to explain the plan for Makoto’s surprise party and confirm his part-taking. 

And when Makoto returned, Haru was already back to his photos, and Rei did his best to look like he had been pondering the anatomy of brittle stars the whole time. After a while Haru rejoined their company, putting his phone away and Rei announced he should start heading home. Makoto and Haru said goodbye to him outside and started walking towards the area where Makoto lived. 

Haru was so occupied with planning the party in his mind that walking and listening to Makoto chatter about the aquarium felt like any other day. It wasn’t until they got close to the station where they’d separate their ways that Haru realised that the issue from yesterday hadn’t been addressed yet. 

“Makoto.” He stopped in his heels. “I’m sorry about yesterday.” 

When Makoto turned to meet his eyes, he looked undoubtedly like he would try to take the blame. Haru couldn’t allow it. 

“I just…” His gaze fell. He needed to say more. “It’s just that I…” 

But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t get the words out of his mouth; his lungs were empty, and he couldn’t add a word. Not knowing what to do he leapt forwards and, like it was instinct, closed his arms around Makoto, burying his face into his puffy jacket. And when Makoto returned his embrace, holding him carefully but tight, Haru felt a warmth he could remember from his childhood. Hugging had made things right so easily then. But being close to Makoto like this now also brought up feelings that that small Haruka of his memories hadn’t even known existed. The nostalgia mixed with the more adult urges of his body, the familiar scent of his best friend now going straight to his groin. It was confusing, and Haru hated confusing things. He hated being this lost. Before he realised he was tearing up. 

“Haru…” Makoto could feel him shivering. He wanted to help, to understand and say the right words to soothe Haru, but he didn’t know them. It made him afraid. Something was happening between them and suddenly an irrational feeling of loss came over Makoto, his jaw starting to catch the tremble in Haru’s shoulders. But then there was muffled noise from underneath. 

”It will be okay”, Haru muttered. It was mostly to himself at first, but then he lifted his face and looked at Makoto, nothing hidden from his expression. “It will be okay, Makoto”, he repeated decisively. He wanted to be with Makoto, he had no doubts about it, and he wanted him in all of those new, wonderful ways too, even if the change terrified him.

At that moment there was no more uncertainty. This was the end of guessing where they stood with each other, it was clear to Makoto what Haru was talking about, and for a second he contemplated kissing him then and there. But then it was gone, his courage escaping, and he settled for a relieved smile. 

“Yeah.”

They walked the rest of the way to the station hand in hand. Too soon Haru had to reluctantly let go of Makoto and wish him good night. 

The metro ride passed in a haze. Haru’s thoughts were racing so fast he stumbled uncharacteristically as he got out at his stop and ended up on his knees on the ground. Some guy asked him if he was okay, to which Haru managed to nod absentmindedly. As if nothing had happened, he stood back up and started navigating his way through the crowd. 

It wasn’t until he was back home, entering his beloved bathtub, that he noticed the rather ugly bruise he’d gotten to his knee, grimacing as hot water hit the wound. Once the pain had eased he actually snorted at himself a little. If _he’d_ gotten this beside himself after today, it was a miracle if his clumsy friend hadn’t gotten hit by at least three cars on his way home. 

He wondered what Makoto was going through in his head right now, certain that Makoto had understood what had been in the air in that moment. He also remembered the sudden distress that had washed over him at first.

It was all just overwhelming, and while in one moment he could feel giddy all over, the next second his excitement could be shadowed by fear. This transformation in his and Makoto’s relationship was something neither of them had emotionally no experience to go by. Well, considering their long history and the special way they’d grown with each other, almost no one had. 

Haru knew they would be friends no matter what would happen. But he also knew it would be awkward, and scary, and certainly something to talk about for their parents and friends. Not that those things really mattered, they would get through all of that somehow. But what if things would go wrong? What if it would not be what they imagined, if something would happen? What if they’d break up, where would their friendship be then? Could it ever be what it was before?

***

Makoto had only realised he had been sitting for twenty minutes straight with his toothbrush hanging from his mouth, staring into emptiness, when he had eventually drooled toothpaste onto his shirt like an idiot. Groaning at himself, he had gotten up and forced himself to focus through the rest of his night routine. But when he finally got to crawl under the blankets, he was pretty sure his heart was still beating abnormally fast after the way Haru had looked at him tonight.

Closing his eyes in the silence and darkness of his bedroom really did nothing to help him calm himself. In his mind he could see Haru’s blue eyes looking into his, in them the small smile that was so typical to Haru and almost impossible to notice for those who didn’t know him. But Makoto hadn’t seen just that today, he had caught tones underneath it that even he hadn’t really noticed before. And he remembered, or more accurately, couldn’t forget, how it had made him feel.

Sighing, Makoto turned over. He really needed to sleep. His alarm would ring at 5:45am and it was already an hour past his usual bedtime. He’d have coaching tomorrow, and it wouldn’t be acceptable to take responsibility of ten under twelve-year-olds, especially when a swimming pool was involved, while sleep deprived. No matter how his stupid hormones would’ve been keeping him awake. 

But it was no use. His breath kept turning uneven as he imagined leaning down to follow his urge to kiss Haru earlier. After tossing and turning for ten minutes, Makoto ended up laying on his back, not really aware of when his hand had travelled down to his stomach. Closing his eyes once again, he finally slipped his hand inside his briefs and around the erection that was insistently bothering his attempt to sleep. Moving his hand over the head he sighed blissfully, chiding himself a little for not just taking care of the problem straight away. 

He had always been a little shy about sex, well, more than a little really. It had taken a long time for him to stop blushing aggressively even with himself. But he was an adult now, inexperienced and still young for sure, but an adult nonetheless. His academic studies included enough learning about the human body and its functions that he now understood it was only natural to take care of ones needs once in a while. 

So, it wasn’t the act itself making his cheeks colour so intensively. It was also hardly the first time Makoto was touching himself while thinking of his best friend. What made his stomach twist in excruciating excitement, his whole body tingle, was the knowledge that these images of Haru he had formed in his mind so many times were now much more closer to becoming reality than ever before. 

Makoto freed himself properly from his underwear, drops of precum already slicking his shaft. He could’ve kissed Haru today, and, Makoto thought as he made himself let out a gasp, Haru would’ve kissed him back. As the pressure kept building up in his groin, Makoto went further in his fantasy, and in it was Haru touching him. Makoto imagined his weight and warmth on top of him, his scent around him, his voice in his ears. 

_Is this really happening some day?_

Haru took complete charge in his mind, telling him to take off his clothes and be quiet, and Makoto swallowed a sigh as he sped up his movements. All the while watching him fully naked, the imaginary Haru pushed his fingers into him. Biting the inside of his bottom lip, Makoto whined slightly from behind pursed lips, his rim tightening reflexively at the image. He could almost feel the slight burn, Haru’s slender fingers massaging his prostate, demanding a response out of him while Makoto struggled to muffle his voice. His cock was now eagerly pulsing against his palm, and while Makoto wanted to enjoy the fantasy for longer, somewhere in the back of his mind he still remembered his crusade for sleep. Haru’s eyes smiled wickedly at him as he told him to come, and Makoto abandoned the order to be quiet as his moans filled the silent room.


End file.
